Can a female or wife enjoy and live her fundamental rights, is that allowed ???
Guest
(Querist) 12 December 2010
This query is : Resolved
Myself married,its 3 months of my marriage.
It was an arranged marriage,through jeevansathi.com, before marriage i told my husband evrything about my past,my likings,life style,thinking, and my parents had told my inlaws that we are broadmined and been raised with good education. After marriage slowly problem started between me & my husband.Before marriage he showed himself as he is same like me,but post marriage i got to know that he is very different from me and he used to lie before, but still i accepted everything and tried to adjust with him, but problems incresed when my inlaws started interering in our small fights,they started blaming me for everything. Its a joint family.
1)My inlaws say that being a woman it is my duty to adjust,and i should not expect my husband to adjust or change. Because it is me who stays in their house.
2)I was not allowed to say anything,i was not allowed to cook, wear clothes of my choice,i was not allowed to go out, or meet my female friends & relatives. I like eating continental dishes,but i never forced anybody to eat that,but even i was not allowed to cook & eat my favourite dishes.(My inlaws eat nonveg) My mother in law said that i must leave eating, chinese, thai or fastfoods, and should eat only normal dall sabzi etc. ( note- i don't eat all this regularly,and neither iam fat)
3)I like sunlight and fresh air, but i was not allowed to open windows, because in their house they don't open windows,so i was bound to accept that. I was not allowed to have my own wish or choice, way of living or thinking.
4)I was not allowed to use laptops or computers, because my mother in law doesnt like ghar ki bahu's doing all that,she didn't wanted me to study or read books. I was not allowed to use any social networking site like facebook, orkut etc.
These are some examples, basically i was not allowed to do anything according to my wish, being a daughter in law i was bound to accept whatever my my inlaws said, without saying a word. All this was very difficult for me,beacuse iam not raised this way. Being educated i couldn't relate with all this. I discussed all this my husband many times that i don't feel comfortable, but he never supported me. Then finally i confronted my mother in law and requested her to let me live in my own way, but on that she said that iam not compatible to their son,and family so they don't want me in their house,and suggested divorce to me. My mother in law clearly said me that if you can change yourself completely and stay according to our wishes then fine else go back to your parents, and divorce my son. This was very shocking and humiliating to me. I don't want divorce i love my husband and want to live with him but on the cost of my self respect & prestige. I have my own individuality, and i cannot forget that. BUt my inlaws( mother in law) are saying that a woman has no identity or individuality of her own once she gets married.
My point is, i understand that every marriage needs adjustment and patience, being a female i understand my duties but am i wrong to expect a little bit of adjustment from my husband. If iam ready to adjust & change 80 percent, then atleast i can expect 20 percent from my husband.
Am i faulty to expect that ???
Being a woman and wife iam not allowed to enjoy my fundamental rights ???
I don't want divorce but i can see my marriage is breaking. My husband has different thinking,but still i love him,but my inlaws are influencing my husband to leave me.My inlaws doesn't allow my husband to talk to me. But what should i do now, i want to save my marriage. Will court understand my point of view ????
Please guide me and help me ??
Arun Kumar Bhagat
(Expert) 12 December 2010
Yes the court will understand your point of view.
Pritam Saini, Advocate
(Expert) 14 December 2010
Yes, but i thinks in your case you need not be legal advised even you should manipulate the things tactically.
