Want my family together

Abdul (Querist) 24 March 2014 This query is : Resolved
Hi,

I am a muslim, an assistant professor in Kozhikode, Kerala and my wife a bank officer in the same city. Two years back we bought a house in her name with most of the money invested by her and her family and we were living together with our two kids. Things got worsened when she got transferred to a little far city (Malappuram) six months back and she shifted there with entire house holding along with her (most of them owned by her). Since then she doesn't want to entertain me and was seeking for divorce/separation. In front of the mediators there was an oral agreement that an out of court settlement will be prepared in favour of me as she wants the divorce and I will vacate her house after we sign it. But in between a lot of things happened as well wishers tried to re join us together. Since nothing worked out I gave her the draft copy of the divorce agreement paper. But she changed her mind as she demanded me to vacate the house first and then sign the paper. Since I rejected she filed a complaint to the nearest police station and they gave me two weeks time. Since I couldn't find a house the police forcefully expelled me with her support last week. I complained about this to ADGP and home minister as police doesn't have the authority to expel without a court order as per my Lawyers. My lawyer is telling me go more attacking way like living the same house by opening the house with some duplicate key and then file a suit against her telling I had invested in the house so that she won't be able to sell it or give it for rent. I am in a dilemma as what to do as she had already threatened me with all laws favorable to her including the 498 section. Frankly speaking I still want her and kids to be with me especially in the same house. Can some body please help me out????

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ajay sethi (Expert) 24 March 2014
dont make the mistake of re entering the house . your wife does not want to stay with you any more . get a divorce by mutual consent . if your wife files 498A you will be spending more money on legal fees and running around courts

Devajyoti Barman (Expert) 24 March 2014
File a suit for recovery of possession.

Abdul (Querist) 24 March 2014
Ajay,

Is filing 498a even comfortable for her also? As I have to try hard for anticipatory bail and consequent trials in the courts, does she also has to spend time with courts? Since she is a busy person at bank compared to me having more leisure time, will she think twice for the same?

Nadeem Qureshi (Expert) 25 March 2014
Dear Mr. Abdul
once the FIR has registered then she is no to appear before the court on every hearing but you have to, she will come only for her evidence and not otherwise. and the property is on her name so why are you fight on this?
it will be better to settle the matter amicably and get Mutual Divorce and left her house.
remain as you think fit.

Abdul (Querist) 25 March 2014
Thanks for you guys input.
But this is ridiculous. The law like 498A is useful for real women who suffer cruelties from men. But how can it be supported for other ladies who just want to trouble the person like me. moreover me and and wife are separated for almost 6 months. Can she still go ahead with the same? What about her act bringing the police to house and throwing me even though house belongs to her. Can the police just do like that? She could have approached the court and followed the procedures. In that case I may get a chance to plea to the court , if the court doesn't order an ex-party. What about RCR now as I am deeply concerned about the kids though she hurt me like anything.

T. Kalaiselvan, Advocate (Expert) 26 March 2014
I agree and go with the opinion by expert Mr. Ajay Sethi to the author's query. the author cannot justify his claims especially in the event of he himself admitting that the property belonged to his wife alone. The law provides an exclusive position with regard to the Married women property. If he feels that he cannot be expelled from the dwelling house by police without any authority, what prevented him from approaching court to obtain a stay order or to make complaint against the police before the State Human Rights Commission? In what way the RCR is a solution for his present problem? In restitution of conjugal rights under Muslim Law which is known as 'iada-e-huquq-e-zanashoi', she can defend herself on the grounds of cruelty on the part of plaintiff towards her.
Instead of complicating things more and more it is better go for an amicable settlement by signing the papers for divorce on mutual consent, i.e., either by 'Khula' or 'Mubarahat' for sailing on the safer side.

Abdul (Querist) 27 March 2014
Thanks all for the advice.

But what about my kids, 5 year old son and 1.5 years old daughter. I am at the losing end with everything including the life and kids. Oh god what will happen to them after years without me? Now I am thinking little strange way. Since property is important to her, let her grab it. I may think of not going for divorce so that I may get little more freedom in dealing with my kids than with divorce and can hope that there may be a time in future where there might be a turn around. But not sure how long it will take?

T. Kalaiselvan, Advocate (Expert) 27 March 2014
As per law, you will be the natural guardian of the children till they attain majority. In case of divorce, you can file petition for custody of children, there are lot of options before you.

malipeddi jaggarao (Expert) 27 March 2014
Leave the house and fight for your other rights by filing RCR. Do not club both the issues.

ajay sethi (Expert) 27 March 2014
hand over possession of her property . it is not necessary that you should go in for divorce . but problem is you will never have peace of mind . your wife dosent want you .she wont return to her matrimonial home .it is better to make a clean break and move on in life .

you can continue to be friends . for sake of children contact would have to be maintained by her

Abdul (Querist) 27 March 2014
Ajay and others,

That's what really confusing me. She had clearly told earlier in front of the mediators that she can't continue with me and ready for the divorce and I prepared the divorce papers with the conditions agreed by both. But now she is not willing immediately and is floating, but want her house badly. May be she doesn't want a new life and won't allow me to do the same or she wants it to get delayed as she wants to monitor me whether I changed myself or not according to her wishes. (She has the complaint about me that I used to drink occasionally which she and her family cannot afford and she wants me to stop it completely and I already agreed to her about it and was ready for a de-addiction course as per her suggestion even though I am not a drunkard.) But whatever her motive the way she tried to vacate me from her house is heartening as I have an emotional content in it since we decided to buy it with the intention of settling in this city and she was smart and cunning to make it in her name as I was ready to spend my share for the house.

Interesting thing is her lawyer had tried to compromise us as he tried to advise me in stopping this habit and adopt more Islamic activities. But that didn't succeed.

malipeddi jaggarao (Expert) 28 March 2014
Forget about who is right and who is wrong. If you really start new life, detatch yourself with her and the property and wait for some time. Property, Drinking - all these are not that important if you really start a new life after having self-introspection.

Abdul (Querist) 30 March 2014
She is showing no interest for divorce on mutual consent after we tried a lot. Really worried about her motive. Until the divorce, do I need to pay maintenance only for the kids?. Since she is working and earning well I think I don't have to pay her the maintenance. Please advise.

Sudhir Kumar, Advocate (Expert) 08 July 2014
refer

http://www.lawyersclubindia.com/experts/harassment-from-my-wife-482716.asp

Sudhir Kumar, Advocate (Expert) 08 July 2014
also refer

http://www.lawyersclubindia.com/experts/Complaint-against-police-469741.asp

Want my family together

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