Restitution of conjugal rights
Ravi Chaturvedi
(Querist) 20 January 2015
This query is : Resolved
Hi,
I got married on 24th Nov'13 in haridwar and my permanent residence is in noida.
I am working in an mnc. My wife is not working and in to her final semester of b.com
My dad is a senior citizen, age 68 and dependent on me. We are only 3 in our family. In the initial couple of months everything went fine but later my wife has started complaining me about the understanding problem she had with my dad.
I told her that if she doesn't like him, she could ignore him. These complaints became a daily matter of my life. I told my dad on a fine day to discuss the issues with her and settle once for all. When he went, she started complaining about me on false pretext.
The matter then graduated further and the next day she absconded with the luggage without informing any of us that where she was going. We informed her family and relatives and we all searched her. We got her at her relatives home in delhi. When everyone made her understand, she finally returned back home.
However there was no change in her attitude and she kept creating frictions in between me and my dad. We suspected that she might want to fix her own parents in my home as she is the only child of her parents and her parents have health issues too. Besides, her father is a retired person and still staying in a rented home in haridwar.
In the month of Sep'14, she again left home by saying that she is going to haridwar as she has impending examinations in the month of feb'15 and she has to take the course material and inquire about coaching. Ever since she never returned back and in the interim me and my dad were threatened by her family and cousins that since we are not keeping her properly at home therefore they will see us both.
I had filed an FIR in noida police station for the security of my dad as my services got transferred to kolkata with effect from nov'14 and i was worried about my dad. The police called her cousins and eventually the disturbing calls got stopped.
I also had a recording of an hour in which her parents and she herself was abusing me and blaming me as impotent and having interest in other girls. Since both these statements are paradoxical, if i am impotent, there is no question why would i show interest or talk to other girls. Second, i am always ready to undergo medical examination to prove that she is using false allegations and spoiling the relation willfully.
I have sent a letter through courier asking her to return back home and take care of her in law and home. The courier got delivered to her on 20th Dec'14 and she was the recipient as per proof of delivery.
We have never got any response from her thus far. I am not sure if i should go through family court and send a notice under restitution of conjugal rights. Neither she nor me wants a divorce but at the same time i can't keep counseling her everyday, this has to end somewhere.
I need to know if sending a notice under the mentioned law will result in a divorce. If yes, under what circumstances. Moreover, if she replies back to the notice from haridwar, will the case automatically transfer to haridwar and do we need to visit that place for every hearing or they need to come to noida for the hearing.
Thanks
P. Venu
(Expert) 20 January 2015
You can send the notice for RCR. However, given the facts you need to tread carefully as the present laws and procedure gives an upper hand to the wife, even if she is wrong.
ajay sethi
(Expert) 20 January 2015
1) filing of RCR is waste of money
2) even if you get decree you cant force your wife to stay with you .
3) if she dosent want to stay with you file for divorce by mutual consent
4) if wife refuses to agree for divorce file for divorce on grounds of mental cruelty
5) making false allegations that husband is impotent amounts to cruelty
Ravi Chaturvedi
(Querist) 20 January 2015
Hi All,
Thanks for your valuable feedback.
Please also suggest, if i ask her opine for a mutual separation by sending a letter, will it go against me in future as per law of land, if the case proceed.
Keeping in view that divorce should be the last option, is there any other legal way that i can resort to, to conserve my marriage.
Thanks
Anand Bali Adv.
(Expert) 20 January 2015
Asking opinion in the given circumstances for a mutually consented Divorce will not at all effect the situation any worse but will clear the cloud of suspense between you two.
There are many ways to get solve the problem mutually with the help of either family elders and friends OR by the experts at the mediation center of the Family Court apply for the pre-litigation mediation through an Advocate in Noida Family Court to provide a mediation in this problem. Family Courts are of the view to joint the family hood in the society and not to prefer breaking it so go ahead for the mediation by the experts and take it as you are going to Doctor for cure.
You can ask Us any time for the help in this regard.
malipeddi jaggarao
(Expert) 20 January 2015
In the given circumstances, the advice of expert Mr.Anand Bali is most suitable to you.
When both of you do not wish for divorce, elders can settle the problem. You can also counsel your father to reconcile with the circumstances and show love and affection towards D-I-L. If there is a change in the attitude of your father, irrespective of who is right and who is wrong, things will settle down in your favour and you can save the marriage.
Ravi Chaturvedi
(Querist) 20 January 2015
Thank you sir. I appreciate the time given by you all in the matter.
Thank you so much.
Rajendra K Goyal
(Expert) 20 January 2015
You should not stop dialogues with her on telephone and should try to talk once / twice a week. You should take in confidence the near relatives. Any legal step from you may instigate them to initiate false criminal cases against you.
If she is the only issue of her parents there is no harm in thinking her parents to be with your family / father to give her family proper attendance. You may consider the proposition if acceptable.
Ravi Chaturvedi
(Querist) 20 January 2015
Hi,
The first time she absconded, her parents came to my residence. They were already aware the whereabouts of the girl in all their journey, however they didn't disclose it until i asked them when they reached my home.
They were well aware that me and my dad were doing run and chase in all those days and were tensed but in their entire journey they kept mum.
On the top of everything they severely abused and insulted me and my dad at home until i asked them to leave. Despite all this, i have never put any restriction on my wife to retain her relation with her parents. Since Sep'14 till date she is with them and this is a live example.
As far as my relation with her parents / relatives are concerned, that will never gonna be on track again after all that happened in this one year. Keeping them in my own house is out of question.
My only concern is my wife. I preferring to keep the communications through letters till everything settles down. Phone calls are quite disturbing mentally for me and my dad in these many months.
Thanks
malipeddi jaggarao
(Expert) 21 January 2015
Mr.Ravi - you are driven by sentiments. Yes, for you, your father is important. Nobody can dispute it. But think of the other side. She is only daughter to her parents. Nowadays because of the one child syndrome, the parents of the girl that too in cases of single child, do not detach themselves with the girl after the marriage. When there are difference of opinions, these parents become more scared and do not bother about the future their daughter, they are so possessive that they come in the way of marital life of their own daughter. Hence you should be little tactful. If they are acceptable, nothing wrong to take care of their welfare also. If not, be tactful for sometime until your wife gets detached from them. This is possible only with your love and affection.
Ravi Chaturvedi
(Querist) 21 January 2015
Sir, good morning. I do agree that love and affection are the keys for a successful married life.
Ever since i married with her, i did everything i could have done under my best capacity to keep her happy. Sight seeing on every vacations, best treatments whenever she was ailing, shopping / traveling on weekends. I only know how much i love her and at the same time i can't even question her love for me.
The things is that, she is not respecting my dad and at times she has also told me to get a separate home. Everyone has positive and negatives, being in a family we have to adapt and adjust accordingly, have to ignore at times also. This is what she is not understanding. How could i leave my dad at this age when he needs me the most?
This is the thing which has started creating frictions in between us. Also, she is skeptical, she doubts that i speak with other girls also. There is not a single weekend gone when i was away from family, if i had to indulge in such relations, i could have arranged ample of time for that.
Considering that a relation is always two sided, isn't it her responsibility also to think and show some maturity in a relation. Or is it like law of land is in their favor, they are taking it for granted as a license to put everything on male counterpart? Is this justified? Is this justice?
malipeddi jaggarao
(Expert) 21 January 2015
Mr.Ravi
I am over-interacting with you only because of one point which I give most respect - your concern for your dad. Had it been someone else, he would have found some excuse and left the dad to his destiny. But you are not like that.
You love your wife and you do not doubt her love towards you.
She is not in a position to understand your responsibility and her parents do not wish to detach themselves. These are only two problems. As far as the matter that she is skeptical, this is very common in newly wedded, and this will continue till proper understanding develops between the couple.
So your problem is identified. The solution is only one - you should be tactful. Do not show/vent out much concern towards your dad before her for sometime. It does not mean that you should disrespect him. If you show over concern, she will feel that she is not paid full attention - some people do not understand the difference of love among various relations - love towards mother, love towards wife, love towards parents, love towards siblings, love towards friends, love towards society. It will take lot of time to bring these people into our line - that will be possible only if we show the required concern to these people as they are afraid that somebody will steal away their share of love. sometimes, you need to pretend - do that until you become father of a child. Then her concern towards you will be diverted towards the new born child. Do not argue with your in-laws. Take lightly their suggestions to live separately. Smile should be the reply, not the open-mindedness.
At any cost, save your marriage. Your problems are not that serious to break the wed-lock.
All the best to you.
Guest
(Expert) 21 January 2015
Very well advised/attended by Expert Mr.Malipeddi Jaggarao
T. Kalaiselvan, Advocate
(Expert) 22 January 2015
The opinion of Mr. Malipeddi Jagga Rao seems to be more suitable. For proceeding in proper direction and if need be, you may also take the help of experts like expert advocate Mr.Anand Bali by prior appointment consultation with him as he practices at Delhi and may be able to guide you properly through legal and other sources too. He has already rendered his valuable opinion to your issue properly.
Ravi Chaturvedi
(Querist) 27 January 2015
Sir,
If i file RCR in noida, do the bride side need to come to noida for every hearing. In such case to i need to bear the expenses of their travel.
If the bride respond to the RCR, will the case automatically shift to her city, viz., haridwar and do we need to go there for hearings.
Keeping in view that my services are got transferred to kolkata, what would be the best option.
malipeddi jaggarao
(Expert) 27 January 2015
If you wish to save your marriage filing RCR is a wrong step. the moment you file RCR, the other side will file DV cases, maintenance cases and what not with all factual/false accusations. Things will be pushed to the extent that there is no scope for return. Hence think twice before you take such step.
Ravi Chaturvedi
(Querist) 22 February 2015
Dear Sir,
As suggested by Mr. Anand Bali, i had a discussion with my spouse on internet and she is not willing for a mutual divorce neither she wants to return unless i escort her from her city.
Keeping in view that this is the second time she left and the first time also i brought her back from delhi where she was staying at her relative's home. I can't do this every time she runs away. Moreover my service are now in kolkata and for the only sake of bringing her home i can't travel to Kol-Haridwar-Noida-Kol
Also after all those threatening and abusing language me and my dad got in the past few months, it is not safe enough for me also to visit her home.
Please suggest what should be done from me now in this case.
Anand Bali Adv.
(Expert) 24 February 2015
Dear Mr Ravi, best advise from my side, I already have given you, now as the different situation has come-up as, though she is willing to come back but wishes that you should come to her place to take her. Here I suggest you that you both mutually agree to come to any third place between Kolkata and Haridwar on a certain day and time and meet each other there well prepared to take her and from her side well prepared to come back to you without or minimum presence of persons from each side with full intention and willingness to come and bring back her. This will solve your problem and immediately after coming back you both need counseling to remain with each other for ever, by some experts of the field which is very important. You can take help of a any senior Advocate of the field or of a mediation center for the given purpose.
