Agressive wife absconding
rahul
(Querist) 22 December 2012
This query is : Resolved
i m 39 yrs old married for last 12 years. My wife has very dominant and agressive in nature, she picksup fight with me on small issues sometimes i ignore and some times they turn ugly. we were childless couple for 11 years. now after great struggle we have been blessed with a baby boy who is 10 months now. Because of her agressive nature i agree to most of her things and remain low profile to maintain peace and harmony in our life but i still love her from bottom of my heart. But offlate i m finding her very different person she is only worried about her parents sibblings and our son. she hates my parents for some arguements that had happened in past. she is software engineer and earns Rs 90000 per month and my salary is only 50,000 per month. This changed in her attitude is worring me and i m worried about our relation. she picks up fight for no reason and says that she does not want to stay with me anymore. 2 days back also she had similar fight with my mom who had come to help us from native and staying with us past 3 months then she left the house with my loving 10 months old son and her packed bags. we tried to stop her but she said she is calling police if we stop her and started shouting for help at doors. i m searching her for 2 days and nights, her 27 yrs old brother who was also staying with us past 2 years has also not come home since that day and they both are not taking my several calls made to them and have switched off their cell phones. her brother (who has not maintained good relation with me) just send sms saying that she is at her friends house. I called couple of her friends but none of them are aware. Every time we have fight she runs away from home but i somehow get in touch with her and bring her back before evening. but this is first time that 2 nights have past. when i called her parents they are putting all blame on me and my mother.
I m very much worried if my wife is planning some legal things to get rid of me as she is secured with much better job which she doesnt want to leave at any cost. I dont want to get seperated as i always love my wife and son without them my life is meaningless. Please advice what are the options left infront of me to prevent her from doing this and what shall i do if she realy does this. Her parents are only supporting her even if she is wrong so i dont expect anything from them.
adv. rajeev ( rajoo )
(Expert) 22 December 2012
Take the help of the elders of your community. YOu inform her attitudes to her parents. You can try to convince her, inspite of all your efforts she didn't agree let her go. You can claim the custody of the child.
V R SHROFF
(Expert) 22 December 2012
UR MARRIAGE LIFE WILL BE STRAINING & NOT COMFORTABLE AS HER EARNING IN MORE.
It settle automatically after she attain age of 45;
So wait & watch.
r ur in laws residing within 15 km distance from u?? keep a distance.
rahul
(Querist) 22 December 2012
I stay in Mumbai and my inlaws stay 500 kms away. She had already applied for 8 days leave starting today to spend couple of days with her parents. I have strong feeling that she will go to them may be in a day. The only option i can see as of now is to go to her parents place once she reaches there and plead her to come back with me, which i have done in past keeping my ego aside. I m family oriented person and fully committed towards her inspite of our occasional fights. I dont want to break our marriage and ruin my sons life as i have seen the pain of children whose parents are not together. I love him, I dont want to do that injustice with my son. All my relatives know her dominant and fighting nature so they dont want to interefere. Only my mother use to raise her voice inbetween whenever she use to find me in sorry state. Also to add, most of my family expenses are bourn by me alone and she only contibutes 50% of EMI of our newly purchased house (joint property). She is secretly helping her father to construct their house (which i discovered accidently). she never discloses what she does with her money nor i have courage to ask about it. She spends all her energy and money thinking only about the welfare of her parents, sibblings and securing them and least bothored about her own family. Till the time we did not had child she was tolerable but after getting child she is completly changed and feels she has won some battle and does not need me anymore. I m very confused.... Please advice.... me and my parents are under serious stress every since she has left home along with my baby.
ajay sethi
(Expert) 22 December 2012
one of the main reasons for your marital problems is her salary of Rs 90,000 a month . since you are earning only Rs 50,000 a month she feels you are inferior to her .
further on account of her dominant nature she hsd managed to browbeat you .
if she has gonne to her parents place for a week or so play it cool . dont run after her . make your displeasure known that even for new years you are not beeing together as family . if she calls up tell her to come back by 30th . she can spend one week with eher aprents and then come back . dont follow her like a lap dog
