Divorce and women cell
rimi
(Querist) 28 March 2014
This query is : Resolved
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ajay sethi
(Expert) 28 March 2014
you are not bound to give your salary to your in laws . it is result of your own efforts .
if dowry has been given at time of marriage has it been declared in income tax returns ? what is source of funds ?
best option would be to go for divorce by mutual consent . filing case of 498A for dowry harassment would further ruin your relation ship with your in laws
rimi
(Querist) 28 March 2014
we hv given some jeweelery , and some cash...how do we prove it..
rimi
(Querist) 28 March 2014
also till marriage they didnt ask for anythng bt after marriage they stated cmplianing tht at every function / festival we should give them clothes for all till 8-9 years
malipeddi jaggarao
(Expert) 29 March 2014
You have not expressed the views/role of your husband. Though you are not bound to handover the salary to your inlaws, your earnings are part of the earnings of the family as per the social structure. If you want to keep your financial independency, you have chosen such a boy who will ignore his social commitments and run after you for money and material comforts. You said that you people have given some jewelry. Where is it at present? Whether it is with you or with them? What is the amount of cash given to them? What is the amount they spent for performing the marriage? One hand you say, they did not ask any thing and the other hand you say you people have given cash and jewelry.
Asking to maintain traditions that too when it is effordable, can not be treated as harassment.
It appears you do not wish to live with your inlaws as you are financially independent and trying to throw the blame on them. In a family when a girl comes in, some adjustments from all sides are required. Before expecting good treatment, introspect yourself whether you are extending the same to them.
Come with full facts. Your role, your husband's role, the details of harassment etc., so that we can give you correct advice.
Rajendra K Goyal
(Expert) 29 March 2014
Try to settle the matter with the help of nears and dears, family friends, relatives. Once you proceed with legal path the life would be ruined and no U turn. Try to live separate with your husband.
If not possible, have to proceed legally, take help of local lawyer.
ajay sethi
(Expert) 29 March 2014
for proof of jewellery you must have purchase receipts of the same from jewellery shop . in addition you must have worn it on your wedding day . your photographs will prove it .
as far as cash is concerned what is source of funds? did you withdraw dfrom bank ? is it declared in Income tax retruns .
K.K.Ganguly
(Expert) 29 March 2014
1. You have made contradictory statements,
2. You said that they are greedy & cunning. However, you also said that they did not ask for anything till the marriage but started saying that you shoud give cloths for all for 8/9 years,
3. Cloths for all is not very costly and may be part of the family/clan tradition which can be negotiated,
4. However, decide whether you want to terminate the relationship or not,
5. If yes, then talk to your husband and go for mutual consent divorce,
6. Engage a local lawyer for the purpose.
T. Kalaiselvan, Advocate
(Expert) 29 March 2014
I think Mr. Malipedi Jagarao has thoroughly analysed the situation and seems to be very right in his opinion in this issue. The author is trying to take tips here to trouble or torture her parents in law for the reasons best known to her, actually in no lace had she mentioned anything about her husband's involvement in the alleged demands, thus her intention may be to live separately away from your parents in law house with her husband and in case of any strong objection from their side, she may utilise the suggestion given by experts here, in her favor as a weapon against her parents in law, right?
Dr J C Vashista
(Expert) 29 March 2014
What is there in the mind of author?
What may be inferred from another post of the author regaarding maintenance of heer child I am unable to make out who is cunning and greedy, whether it is parents-in-laws or author?
Mend your perception towards parents-in-law.
malipeddi jaggarao
(Expert) 30 March 2014
Thanks Mr.Kaliselvan and Dr.Vashista to endorse my views.
rimi
(Querist) 30 March 2014
respected sir i m aware that the way i wrote it appears as if i m trying to create a useless issue.
it was not just clothes. they expected that all my needs should be met by my parents. along side they expected me to handover all the cash i recieve on functions by my relatives to thm and my parents are old and retired . how can i expect thm to carry such financial burden.
i meant that to be honest they said tht thy didnt want anything and we could give whatever we like.
bt after maariage slowly thy statrd showing their colours. first taunts started on the amount of jeweelry, thm they fought over my salry . my husband always supported my in laws and even used to abuse me , kept shouting at me. locked me room, tried to slap me, humiliated me on my colour, height.
they didnot even want to spend 10 rs on me.
my husband first refused to hv intimate relationship with me bt aftr a lot of pldng we relented. thn when i became pregnat he forced me to hv abortion. lied that he is fianncially broke, on the verge of bankrupty, and going to loose his jobs too soon. bt i knw he was lying as always, so i came back. his mother started giving strange medicines to me. so i had to come back.
sir i still want to live with him bt i cant live again in that hell like torture. wht do u propose he shld be allowed to continue and i shld suffer along with my child.. is that justice. u knw wht they wanted me to change my nomination too. is that also right when there is so much fihgt going on. there behaviour was giving me red signals.. so i left... i dnt want to go for divorce forget abt dv and all. bt he is not ready to live with me separtly. my in laws bec of their greed keep poisining their mind. he is greedy too and at times thretems me. tumhari khaal nikal dunga, shld i hv waited for him too beat me mercilessly th i shld take the step. which girl in india wants to be a divorcee bt who can bear to be physiacally mentally tortured tht one starts luking for suicide...
sir think b4 u accuse...
rimi
(Querist) 30 March 2014
my jewwlwery of course they have kept, my parents have promised to spend a huge amt at marriage with which they were truly happy so said u spend as u want... bt they real greed lies in my salry...i would hv been happy evn after giving salary if t hey had spent a little on my basic needs also.
rimi
(Querist) 30 March 2014
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rimi
(Querist) 30 March 2014
i hv written some part of my misery in my earlier query if u must u can read it under this page...
http://www.lawyersclubindia.com/experts/Divorce-case-457471.asp#.UzhLsqiSySo
rimi
(Querist) 30 March 2014
sir pls guide me as what method does women cell follow. we want that some type of counselling on marrige be taken my me and my husband so that he will also understand his duty regarding his wife and child... we dont want to trouble anyone bt what other way we have... my parents, relatives intervend many times and tried to counsel thm bt thy made fake promises and behaved more badly afterwards... that is y i cant bear to go back there.. i get nightmares , cant slleep when i think and try to accept going back there....
rimi
(Querist) 30 March 2014
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rimi
(Querist) 30 March 2014
sir pls guide me as what method does women cell follow. we want that some type of counselling on marrige be taken my me and my husband so that he will also understand his duty regarding his wife and child... we dont want to trouble anyone bt what other way we have... my parents, relatives intervend many times and tried to counsel thm bt thy made fake promises and behaved more badly afterwards... that is y i cant bear to go back there.. i get nightmares , cant slleep when i think and try to accept going back there....
T. Kalaiselvan, Advocate
(Expert) 30 March 2014
Under the said circumstances, if what you say are to be taken as facts, you may convince your husband and put up your matrimonial household away from your parents in law's house and avoid them totally so that you can ensure that they do not disturb you anymore.
rimi
(Querist) 31 March 2014
sir that is want iwant . a peaceful life with my husband and my child. i knw we hv responsibility . after all they r my husbands parents. i respected thm and loved them bt now i m even afraid to come face to face with thm, it bring back all those terrible memories. bt sir it appears that the way out is to either live separatly or leave my husband. i still want to give our marriage a chance bt cant bear to enter that house...
malipeddi jaggarao
(Expert) 31 March 2014
Prepare mentally for separation and consult a good lawyer in family matters. Instead of taking defence, start offence, on your husband, ignoring your in-laws and the loss already sustained. Categorically tell him in the interest of the child, he should agree to live separately at least for some time till your in-laws realize their mistake. If does not agree, ignore him also, and keep on building-up pressure in his mind that you not meek and will protect yourself and the off-spring and capable of bringing him for reconciliation.
K.K.Ganguly
(Expert) 31 March 2014
1. Try to convince your husband to live with you seperately,
2. If he does not agree & if you think that living with them is not possible then decide whether you will terminate the relationship or not. This is the most crucial part of the whole matter,
3. If decided, then take actions boldly,
4. Lodge a police complaint u/s498A & 406 of IPC against your husband & his entire family,
5. File a maintenance petition for the maintenance of your child,
6. If your husband gives any proposal for mutual consent divorce, accept it with considerable compensation.
Biswanath Roy
(Expert) 31 March 2014
You consulted me through PM on the subject and now collecting various opinions from other Experts to enrich your knowledge on the SAME subject. It is GOOD.
rimi
(Querist) 31 March 2014
thank u sir.. ur opinion and views r really helpful. i m a mother now. and i m ready to do all that is required to safeguard first the life of my child.
secondly i want to reconcile with my husband by first discussions and help frm my parents. if all else fail i would go to police/ women cell/ court whatever is required. if an educated girl living in metro cant protect herself and her child then what use is of my education. i hv been asking many questions bec legal system is really scary in india. i want to explore all options b4 going for police.
what way does women cell work...
Dr J C Vashista
(Expert) 01 April 2014
1. Use your education, intelligence and sincerity for betterment of your family life without irritating any member (although very difficult to please everyone). It is not a matter of protection but reconcilliation and adjustment in the change circunstances, after marriage.
Approaching police or court is always counter-productive and disasterous, which you can understand very well being an educated and urban lady.
Be practical, positive, caring and helping in the circumstances which you (and only you) know better than the members of this platform.
Dr J C Vashista
(Expert) 01 April 2014
1. Use your education, intelligence and sincerity for betterment of your family life without irritating any member (although very difficult to please everyone). It is not a matter of protection but reconcilliation and adjustment in the change circunstances, after marriage.
Approaching police or court is always counter-productive and disasterous, which you can understand very well being an educated and urban lady.
Be practical, positive, caring and helping in the circumstances which you (and only you) know better than the members of this platform.
Sudhir Kumar, Advocate
(Expert) 14 April 2014
put all queries in one thread instead of scattering facts on multiple threads.
Yes. It is in your interest.
