Harassment by husband and in laws
S S Ali
(Querist) 29 February 2016
This query is : Resolved
Sir,
My sister who is a govt employee got married (nikaah) on 14/10/2012. It was an arranged marriage. Her husband is also a govt employee. Her father is a retired govt employee. As she is the only child of her parents, her father gave her to his level best in her marriage including gold jewellery, furniture and valuable gifts. Although during negotiations, no dowry was demanded, but after her marriage, her husband and in laws asked her to buy them a car taking loan. But she refused. After this, their behaviour changed drastically. Although they did not demand for the car directly to her anymore, but they started to ignore her and treated her like an outcast. Her inlaws did not want her to live with her husband. Inspite of this behaviour, my sister did not say a word to her parents as they were aged and she didn't want to trouble them. Her husband is completely under control of his family and strictly said to his wife that she should obey his family members and never protest or object. Her in laws always plotted to influence her husband against my sister and her family and always tried something or the other to cause their fight. My sister ignored their rude and harsh behaviour and tried to be good to them in the hope that things will change one day but instead of getting better, the situation got worse. My sister gave birth to a son on 10/02/2015. But after this, they started behaving very very badly. They humiliated, insulted, harassed not only my sister but also her aged parents. Her husband is an alcoholic and chain smoker.He always uses abusive and foul language against her and her parents. Her in laws never stopped him from using such slang words. They even told her to leave his house when her son was only 3 days old. But she could not leave then as she was unwell post delivery. Due to their bad behaviour, she was compelled to leave the house with her 2 months old child and live with her parents.
In these 10 mths of her stay with her parents, her husband has never stood beside her financially or emotionally in his son's upbringing. All her son's expenses have been borne by her. He never even called up to know about his son's well-being. Whenever he did so it was to threaten and abuse her and her parents. He even threatened to snatch away her son and harm them using power and money. Meanwhile her husband,mil,brother and friend came to their house and misbehaved tremendously and also insisted for mutual divorce.
After 3 mths of her leaving the house her husband got engaged to a girl but now is saying that he did not and wants my sister to go back. But still now his behaviour has not changed and he does everything according to his parent's orders.
On 26th Feb, he came to my sister's house at 1 am at night and asked her to let him in for he wanted to see his son. He said that he came alone by train. My sister doubted his intention and asked him to come in the morning. After a while she heard that stones and bricks were being thrown at their house by her husband, brother, a friend and about 6 to 8 other men who came in 2 cars . By the sound of breaking glass panes her 1yr old son who was then sleeping woke up and started crying. Her father who is a heart patient was also feeling unwell. She and her family got very scared and called the police. Her husband broke the lock on the main gate and was about to enter when the police came in and due to their intervention they had to leave.
Now, she is very scared about her, her son's and aged parent's safety. She is confused about what she should do now, whether to file an FIR or go for a court case ? Does an FIR also mean a court case ? If so, then what should be the allegations and respective IPC sections. We would be grateful to you if you would guide us on this with your valuable advice. As we are laymen regarding this, your advice would be of great help for us. My sister and her family is very upset, completely shattered after this incident and her parents are really worried about her and her child's safety.
Waiting eagerly for your advice,
- A worried brother
Kumar Doab
(Expert) 29 February 2016
Repeated query. Posted as anonymous.
However expert has advised the action that can be taken.
Indeed you may consult a local senior lawyer.
S S Ali
(Querist) 29 February 2016
Thank you Sir. No one was answering because of anonymous query...so I repeated the query with my name...I really need the advice...please suggest what to do in details and also the detailed procedure after FIR
S S Ali
(Querist) 29 February 2016
Is a police complaint and FIR same thing ?
Rajendra K Goyal
(Expert) 29 February 2016
try for amicable settlement.
If not possible file police complaint for the happening, domestic violence, dowry etc.
Discuss with local lawyer and file case for child possession and maintenance.
P. Venu
(Expert) 01 March 2016
The description of alleged instances of harassment are too general.
Adv. Yogen Kakade
(Expert) 01 March 2016
You can certainly go for 498a and DV.. consult a local lawyer bwith all facts.
S S Ali
(Querist) 01 March 2016
Thank you everyone for your valuable advice. My sister has complained to the police and they have given 498 along with other sections also. Now should she file a separate case for child custody ( also so that her husband or in laws can never claim or meet the child) or it will be given to her automatically after this 498 case. Plz suggest and advice
Rajendra K Goyal
(Expert) 01 March 2016
She should file case for child custody and maintenance.
A. A. JOSE
(Expert) 01 March 2016
Act as per suggestions given by learned experts if amicable resolution of issues and patch up with the other side is absolutely impossible. Do not carry the impression that everything is solely attributable to the mistakes of the other party alone. In such cases, usually it is more of a problem of adjustment by the couples, especially the girl who would think that her writ should only prevail over everything and such adamant attitude leads to breaking down of marriage, often with the active support, cooperation and provoking of her own family members too.
Unless elders in the family guides the couples in a matured manner from their own rich life experience, in most cases, initial minor teething problems leads to divorce which could very well have been avoided with little patience and understanding. Therefore, please consider all aspects with a cool mind before finally moving the matter for divorce.
S S Ali
(Querist) 05 March 2016
@Jose Sir, there's no question of patch up coz my brother in law is a very rude, immature and irresponsible person. He and his family is very dangerous and not trustworthy at all. On one hand he is asking my sister to come back on the other hand misbehaving with her and her family members. Not at all concerned about the child but again blaming my sister that she is not letting him be with his child. Not only that, he and his family is threatening her that they will ruin them and also take away her son using power and money. My sister has got nothing from this marriage except sadness, insult and cheating. She has suffered a lot and still is. She just wants to live peacefully with her son. She even doesn't want any maintenance as she is capable of taking care of her son and herself. All she wants is a punishment for the humiliation and harassment that has been caused to her and her parents. All she wants is a realisation that they have done wrong to her and her family
S S Ali
(Querist) 08 March 2016
Thank you so much everyone for your support and valuable advice
