my wife want to leave me without legal seperation
Jawahar Rayar
(Querist) 30 August 2010
This query is : Resolved
Dear Sir,
I am a Class-I officer in a central government scientific organization. I got married with a girl on Mar 2009 and she is working as an assistant medical officer (Class-I). We gifted a child on Dec2009. Now my wife wants to leave me, without legal separation. This is due to the fact that, her family financially depends herself. (widowed mother, abandoned but not legally divorced sister, a brother with no permanent income and a brother with class-IV service). I love my wife and daughter and I want to live forever with them, but I could not stop my wife from her decision. They are about to leave me with in a month. How can I react in this situation?
Adv Archana Deshmukh
(Expert) 30 August 2010
If this is the only reason then, what is the need to leave you for that? She can give away her whole salary to her mother while living with you. Convince her that the daughter needs love and care of both parents.
Jawahar Rayar
(Querist) 30 August 2010
Thanks for your response, madam. Earlier we are working at different places, so I used to visit my wife’s house at all the Saturdays (literally, Friday evening to Sunday morning) and visit to my parents at all the Sundays. Presently, she got transferred to my office town and staying with me in government quarters. Since then she insists me that I should not visit to my parents at all the Sundays, instead we (myself, wife and daughter) visit once in a month. But my presence is needed for my age-old parents as a moral support and medical care. I try to convenience her that we are staying together all the six days in a week why she is worrying for my departure at Sunday morning at 7AM and return back on the same day evening at 9 PM. But she threatened that if my parents are important for me then there is no need of husband for her. I try to resolve the problem with some elders working in my office but she has not listened. She creates chaos in my quarters for the past three weeks. She keen to leave me very soon and my mother-in-law, who is staying with us for caring our child is poking the matter worse. BTW, I am not expecting single penny from her side, at the same time I am not spending single penny except for basic needs, after all she is earning more than me and she can spend for cosmetics and other luxuries. MORE PRECISELY, WHILE SHE IS SPENDING HER MONEY TO HER FAMILY SHE HAS NOT ALLOW ME TO DO SO FOR MY FAMILY! Here I request your guidance that what I have to do legally at present to stop herself. She refused to have an appointment with a counselor. Once again I thank you very much for your patient to go through my problem.
adv. rajeev ( rajoo )
(Expert) 30 August 2010
When your wife is decided to leave you then you can not do anything. I can understand how much you love your wife and daughter. Your old age parents are also more important, it is your bounded duty to take care of them.
Your wife has a feeling that she is earning and already got a kid so what is the necessity of husband.
Think in a cool way try to convince her. If she didn't agree then leave her dont think other way. Life is to lead not to worry.(Lifeu Istene)it is in kannada the meaning is This is life!
Adv ramesh chheda
(Expert) 30 August 2010
no spouse can desert other person without seeking order from family court. Now if u r wife wishes to desert u then on she leaving u file petition for the restitution of conjugal rights. But one thing u need to keep in mind that u cannot ask u r wife to stay with u forcefully. She need to stay by her wish then only u r marriage can be of some purpose. If u force her to stay with u then she may b with u physically for sm days but later further more complication may start. So better go for some counselling also to convince u r wife that she is taking a wrong step. and if she wishes then she can send her salary to her parents.
u cannot stop u r wife from going away from u but u can take courts help to get back with the help of restitution of conjugal rights petition.
niranjan
(Expert) 30 August 2010
Keeping your feelings inside, allow her to go to her parents,visit her and daughter occassionally, do not initiate any litigation, and keep patience; some day she will realise her mistake and will return to you.
mahendrakumar
(Expert) 31 August 2010
inspite of your best attempts,if she insists to leave you,let her go.
as niranjan expressed,i do believe that,she will come back to you shortly,provided no provocation from your side.
Chanchal Nag Chowdhury
(Expert) 31 August 2010
Either go for restitution of conjugal rights or for divorce.That is all the choice U have.U may move court for custody of the daughter.
Jawahar Rayar
(Querist) 31 August 2010
My office staff and his wife is trying to convince her. I will wait for some time.
mahendrakumar
(Expert) 01 September 2010
please try the same route first before thinking legally remedies.
Jawahar Rayar
(Querist) 01 September 2010
My fellow staff could not able to convince her. She is very much adamant to go away. The best thing I can do now is KEEP MUM. Here I thank all the experts for their valuable guidance in this matter. Once again I will be back with hand full of queries related to family law, in case if my wife left me alone. I Thank all.
Jawahar Rayar
(Querist) 08 March 2011
I have passed almost seven months after my wife and child deserted me. Whatever effort I made to contact through phone was failed. She either cut the call or switched off the phone for a while. Since she is not ready for divorce my life is spoiled. In case if I apply for divorce, how much money (the percentage in my monthly salary) I have to pay to my wife for compensation. Since, she is a class-I government servant earning more than me, is it essential to pay the compensation. In addition how much money I have to pay to my baby girl who supposed to stay with my wife as per court order. Even though my sisters are ready to take care of my baby girl my wife may not allow the same.
Jawahar Rayar
(Querist) 19 September 2011
After an year of time, I have seen my wife on the bus today and try to talk. She is behaving like that I am unknown person. To avoid chaos on the public I left her without single talk. Since she is behaving ill-mannered I lost my hope of re-union. I request the experts to advice me about the legal procedure so that either she can join with me or I can leave her permanently.
Guest
(Expert) 19 September 2011
On going through your whole story in different parts, I can only say, one-sided love has no meaning. If she is determined to leave there is no use of keeping the relations or to allow your staff members to intervene in your family affairs. Better forget her.
Most probably, she would have been irritated by making your fellow staff to intervene.
Better try to seek mutual divorce and remarry after the process of divorce is over.
Advocate. Arunagiri
(Expert) 19 September 2011
Take your wife to a professional for counseling. They will give a solution for your issue.
Jawahar Rayar
(Querist) 21 September 2011
Thanks for your valuable suggestions for my problem. She is neither like to live together with me nor like to divorce. It is impossible to bring herself to the counselor, since she is avoiding me to talk over phone or in person. This weekend I am planning to approach an advocate for proper guidance and possible legal proceedings.
