Contradictory demands by wife, how to handle it??

Originally posted by : no pain no gain....
	. sir, what can be done in my case, , wanted to know about the contradictory demands of my wife. she filed RCR, i offered her money during counselling, she says no, i dont want money. her lawyer apporached me out of court, suggested that his clients wants to cohabit with me, i refused as i had already filed divorce on grounds of cruelty, i offered a one time settlement to the lawyer, he says his client is not interested in money i fiiled for divorce, she is contesting the same. Now she filed for 125 and HMA 24. where she has asked for an astronomical sum of money , Rs 20000 pm as maintainence.   i still offered her money during counselling for 125 case, i told the counsellor too, that i am ready to pay money, which she has demanded in 125, she says no.....she does not want money, but wants to stay with me, but in the 125 and HMA 24 she is asking for money... i am out of my wits, my idiot wife is asking for money by filing 125 and 24, i am ready to give it. during the couselling she is refusing money...i dont know what is going on in her head...... can you pls advice.....thanks

Sometime just a month back there was a similar query, by that of a woman, who does not want her husband to go behind bars, she does not want to file false cases, she does not want money at all from her husband via 125 crpc etc and she does not want to let her husband go i.e. she does not want to give divorce to her husband at any cost, but wants to punish him not according to law ie 498a etc but just want him to be a pain in his arse by making him roam to court halls for a very long time.

check pm for more details on that case.

Now cominig back to your case.  When you are offering her alimony or when you are telling her to accept money Rs XYZ and  she refused it, your lawyer or you shuld have taken in writing from her that she does not want money.

And produced the same in court, you'd have gotten rid of the headache of paying alimony.

But its not that easy.

On the one hand she cannot refuse to accept money and at the same time ask money under two diffrent sections of law.

Your case is clearly that of legal extortion.

She wants more money.

As she has already refused during counselling sessions, its time for you to ask her to open a SB account in her name, handover the pass book to you, that you want to start remitting money to her account, all this has to be done in court.  That is option number 1. Option number 2 is, when there is a date you can as well pay her in cash in the open court.

All these are tactics to suck money from your pocket.

Either fight the case based on merits as we have discussed earlier.  Or if you are already feeling the heat, then pay her in lumpsum, get rid of the headache.  Time and tide wait for none.

What`s contradictory about it?

Your wife doesn`t want to give you divorce.

She needs money to support herself and to pay for legal expenses.Hence the HMA 24 and CRPC 125.Besides more hassle for you(No divorce and continue to pay money).

Continue the case,keep no contact with her.Eventually she`ll understand there`s no hope for reconciliation.

1) a contested divorce may take years to be disposed of .

2) your wifee does not divorce but wants to stay with you .

3) if you agree to stay with her you wont have to pay her maintenace or alimony .

4) since your wife refuses to divorce by mutual consent fight case on merits

Feel sympathy for her.

 

She did not file 498A.  She filed only RCR.

 

She is saying she does not want money in counselling, which she cannot say during proceedings in crpc 125 and hma 24.  If she stays with you, why she needs money, that is what she means when she says I am not interested in money.  But if you do not cohabit with her she needs money.  So she wants to continue with 125 and 24. 

 

I think she is a good woman.  You need to mend yourself.

Dont lose a good wife.

^ ^ ^

It like giving rating to wife, good, bad, ugly, worst.

If wife file just 125 crpc she is good wife.

If wife file 125 crpc and hma she is a very good wife when compared to a wife who filed a DV case along with 125 crpc and HMA.

A wife if just files a DV case and not a 498a case, then she is good wife, why?  Coz she did not file a 498a case.

If wife just files a 498a case she is a good wife, why?  As she did not file a 125 crpc, HMA, DV act along with 498a.

If wife just files a divorce case she is the bestest wife on earth, why?  she did not file 125 crpc, hma, 498a, DV case against you.

Blessed are such husbands whose wife just filed a 125 crpc and HMA like the above case, they just want money and not the husband.

If she really did not want money she should not have filed maintenance applications.

All this is nothing but drama.

@no pain no gain, if you lure her with loads of money, she will happily sign even on the judges forehead for MCD. :-))

@chandrashekarji...

The above case is not just a 125 crpc etc maintenance related case.

The woman did not wish to cohabit with the author ever since marriage.

The author has filed a divorce petition on basis of "Non-consummation of marriage within one year."

for nonconsumation of marriage within 1 year?.. the author itself told that he filed divorce on the ground of cruelty! @author, she simply doesn't want to divorce you.She needs money,but not at the cost of husband!

@nopain no gain going by your brief it seems that your wife might have had a change of heart with passage of time and she now may be wanting to co habit with you. As you don't want the same so she might be trying to make it costly for you to deny cohabitation. How ever you are the best judge to decide wether its tactical posturing or real change of heart. During counselling you must have got a feel of it. regards ASHOK

@Helping hand.  It is just human psyche.  If one in the relationship says, "I want you", the other feels proud that he is being wanted and he/she will start saying, "I don't care, you are unfit to be my life partner".  It happens in love affairs also.  As long as opposite s*x is not interested people keep trying (by doing something or other) to attract the fellow who is not showing interest to know whether they really matter to them.  When they think this attempt to attract is any kind of love offer and respond, they will retreat being satisfied that "Yes, he gets attracted to me, I am attractive enough".  People check their own beauty, charisma with this attitude.  It is not that the person who proposes or expresses interest in us is cheap.  We are cheap in doing all that to attract opposite s*x by some non-verbal means.

 

 

 

Just narrated that to say, the author may be feeling she is cheap because she is expressing interest in him. 

^^^

Going by what you say, 95% of the divorce cases in court should have been withdrawn.

Change of mind or whatever or learnt a lesson or whatever should have been done before entering the court hall, its not a marriage hall that you've entered for Christ's sake.

@ranee....yes i filed the divorce case on grounds of cruelty, on the basis of not letting me having s*x relations after marriage. it is one of the points in my divorce petition, in my entire i year of erratic cohabition with her, i was always denied s*xual relations. and after moving away from my house, now she has filed RCR, it is only the social pressure actiing on her now at her native place that to save her nose, she wants to come back.

@helping hand....a very good descriptttion you have given here, how can a wife be seen with the type of case she files....great descriptttion.....i like it

Sir. i wanted to know what your views were, regarding the proposed amendments to crpc 125 that TAjobs has just posted on the forum, after having read it breifly, i think this is one more nail in the coffin of husband.

i the definition of 'having no source of income' i think the proposed amendment of not taking into account the ability of the wife to earn, will be very damaging for the husband....waiting for your opinion.

thanks