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Abhishek (Consultant)     28 October 2014

Mental harassment case filed by girl friend

Hi,

I was in relationship with a girl for last 5.5 yrs. We were studying together in college and after 1 year of friendship we got into relationship and were in same for 5.5 years. Initially everything was good. But gradually she started having mistrust. Due to which she started raising finger on me for everything, even if I spoke to any girl, then also she started mistrusting me. Post college placement this continued and I used to explain it to her that as she can talk to guys I can also, but mistrust grew a lot.

After working for 1 year, I started by own business, and shifted to a different city. My father also joine dme in the business, in business I had female employees, this even made things worse as now everyday we use to fight for 6 hours on phone because I had female employees (and I used to put up that she is also a female and she is also working and there is nothing wrong in this). Post to that she started raising fingers on everything (even such things as having a common washroom in office for males and females - because of this she starting abusing and fighting everyday). Things like this grew everyday, as I was madly in love with her, I used to try to make her understand everyday, because of which I was never able to focus on my business. Still things got worse. 

Post this, she started fighting and shouting on everything and she never used to listen anything. This grew to a level where she started blackmailing me everytime that she will hurt herself if I would say anything to her, even after abusing me and raising finger and mistrust on me, she use to do the same. Still I used to try to make her understand. This led to events in which I started lying to her on small things as when I am out with family  (as she started questioning and fighting on those points as well).

Gradually she put up that marriage is the reason that this kind of behaviour has been from her side, and thus 4 months back I had my parents talk to her parents in regards to marriage and decided to meet them in couple of months. Still during these 2 months she didnt changed and she started blackmailing me everyday by hurting herself for everything. Infact she went to a level where strangulated her, just because I was busy in office and was not able to speak to her, she use to abuse me and fight and shout on me everyday as female employees are there in my office. This detoriated my health and it led to situations in which I passed out and fainted quite a few times because of this mental trauma (this has happened 8-10 times earlier as well).

This led to a decision from my side that I cannot continue the relationship with her as she was just fighting, mistrusting and blackmailing me and thus I walked out of the relationship.

Now its been a month that our parents met and decided that we should not continue. 

But now she went ahead and filed a mental harassment case against me in Mahila Aayog and she had communicated through a common friend that she just wants to destroy me anyhow as I am not marrying her.

During our relationship of 5.5 yrs few times we even came physically close to each other on mutual consent, and it was the major reason for which I anyhow wanted to make this relationship work (inspite of going through mental trauma every single day). But now she is saying that she would use this to frame me up. 

Please advise what to do



Learning

 16 Replies

AS   28 October 2014

Well bad luck dude.

If you marry her , your lie will be spoiled and she will file 498A+DV+125 and if you dont marry her she can file 376 Rape case.

Well as from your post it looks like that she is having some kind of mental disorder - probably physic problem.

Take her to Dr and help her with her problem, Keep those orignal records with you. You will need it later.

Abhishek (Consultant)     28 October 2014

@AS.. Thank you for the response

But what should I do for now, and how should I tackle the issue. As after our families met and decided that we should not continue the relationship, she has been just blackmailing me and have put a case in mahila Aayog. Am not talking to her at all. How can I save myself

Chetan Joshi (Advisory/Advocacy)     29 October 2014

 

The way you have narrated circumstances, marriage would not be suggestible unless there is something transformational happens which might transform your respective beings.

 

You need to speculate to what is the probability that she might try to put false case against you and to what extent would she pursue it knowing the fact that she also has a family. And also how would she prove it.

 

In worst case, it would not be out of the box to think to get engaged and then break it.

 

Think!!!!

 

Regards

Chetan Joshi 

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     29 October 2014

@ Author,

 

1. No case made out. 


2. You file written reply before Women Cell stating corrects facts and names of witnesses (office workers - your family) and her frustration will boom back upon her in due course of time.


3. Consensual s*x before marriage and then not marrying is not crime even as per Apex Court Judgments, so unless para 2 reply against her allegations and also putting you under stress of emotional blackmail you put up with assistance of an seasoned advocate found locally via reference you need not have to worry of marrying her under pressure, force or under duress.


4.
Stick to your stand of not continuing the relationship otherwise re-read para 2 and 3 which are course correction actions by you otherwise no one can save you now if she is not stopped right now in her mis-adventures.

 

[Last reply]

Abhishek (Consultant)     29 October 2014

Thanks for the response.

Kindly also guide me, whether I should rightaway file a case against her regarding the mental harassment or not, as it was me who was getting mentally harassed along the years. This harasssment is what has lead to breakup within us.

K.K.Ganguly (Advocate)     29 October 2014

1. It seems that you two are not gelling at all & there is nothing more left in your relationship other than ill feeling,

 

2. You will ruin both of your lives if you decide to marry each other,

 

3. Call the relationship a quit at the earliest,

 

4. There will be reactions for some time but two lives will be saved from being tortured by each other for the rest of their lives.

Abhishek (Consultant)     29 October 2014

@ KK Ganguly.

I agree with you and thus have taken the call that we should not continue the relationship and I have called it off.

But now she is determined to ruin my life as I am breaking up.

She has filed a complaint against me at Mahila Aayog for Mental Harassement, and she wants to file false case to anyhow ruin my life.

Kindly advise me what steps should I take..


(Guest)

You dont seem have brain which is in working condition.


What you do is.  Give a written  reply from your side stating all facts and that you have no relationship whatsoever with her anymore to the mahila aayoga.


Now change your sim card, change your phone.  Get off of social networking sites, fb, twitter etc.  If you have any details about her behaviour like chat details, download them in text form and close accounts.  Go underground for sometime, [read that as 1 year or so].  Never try to contact her again through any means, even when you are totally drunk.   


This will pass off, with passage of time.  Anything she does wont stand in eyes of law.

Abhishek (Consultant)     29 October 2014

@ Helping Hand.. 

I am running a business of mine. So are you suggesting to close down the business and go underground. But this business is the only source of income for the family. (She knows about the business, my business landline number etc, infact for the Mahila Aayog complaint thaat is the same landline number which she has given, as I recieved a verification call from Mahila Aayog at landline number.). She also knows about my place of residence

And I am neither taking her calls nor am I responding to any of her messages, she has asked to meet in the weekend with my parents. (While her parents are unknown about the complaint she has lodged against me in Mahila Aayog). Should we meet her or should we not.

Abhishek (Consultant)     29 October 2014

Other than that verification call, I have not received any communication from Mahila Aayog. So to whom should I write the written application to.

Abhishek (Consultant)     30 October 2014

Kindly help me on the point that whether we should meet her not as am not sure whether her parents know about her filing the complaint in Mahila Aayog. Additionally I also fear she would again blackmail us by hurting herself.

K.K.Ganguly (Advocate)     30 October 2014

1. Filing of cases do not ruin lives,

 

2. Bad marriages do,

 

3. Contest the cases, if filed by er, fittingly. It will end one day,

 

4. This will be much better than fighting with her fittingly at home, through out your life,  after getting married.

Abhishek (Consultant)     30 October 2014

@K K Ganguly

I agree with you and that is the reason have backed out from this relationship. But kindly help whether we should go and meet her or not

K.K.Ganguly (Advocate)     30 October 2014

1. It is strange. Why do you want to meet her? To tell her good bye?

 

2. Just leave the matter as it is & do not give her any further chance to complaint against you. 


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