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Abdullah Usman Khan (Student)     26 June 2010

Harassment by neighbours for females visiting me.

I am a student who has been living in my flat on rent for 5 years now. I had been earlier studying at Jamia University which is why I chose to move in here as it was accessible. I live in Johri Farm, Noor Nagar Extension, Jamia Nagar, New Delhi 110025.

My friends, have always been visiting me since I moved in here. I do not, and will not make a distinction on the basis of their s*x. Whether they are male, or female, does not matter.

I have the right to have a friend over. I am doing NOTHING illegal. But this year, a few months ago, I was threatened and harassed, that if females didn't stop visiting my place, I would be thrown out or beaten up. My friends visited me day before yesterday, and they stayed over till yesterday. A guy and a girl. I've known them for all 5 years now.

My parents know my friends visit and stay over. The hour does not matter at all.

The neighbours claim, that if a girl is at my place at 2 past midnight, that is wrong, and if she is at my place at 2 in the afternoon, that's not wrong. This mentality sickens me to the core. Have your mentality, but dont impose it on others!

They threatened to call the police. So I said, I'd call them myself as I have done nothing wrong. So i called them, and they arrived. The neighbours wanted them to open my apartment up so they could have a look around. So the police asked me to. I said I will not do that without a warrant. The policeman told me, that a warrant is unnecessary when there's a complaint already from my neighbors. They said the same things and left. Threatening that it would get escalated and things would get bad for me, so I should just agree that I will have no female visitors over and go home. I had no choice then other than to agree.

My landlord has told me clearly that who visits and who does not is my business. My parents know of my friends visiting and staying over. I am not answerable to anyone else, am I?

But I wouldn't want this to go big, but I want this fixed. I dont want to move out to another place because that would be just accepting defeat and not fixing something that needs to be fixed. My landlord wouldnt want to get busy in this mess either. He is supportive as long as he doesnt need to do much. He is a lawyer at Patiala House Court even, but he wouldnt help me, I know that much. So I ask you, what should I do?

(This isn't a registered society or anything, just a neighbourhood.)

I came from Saudi Arabia in 2005 to study here. I saw the place. And I love this place, it's my country. And I see the bad. But I dont want to run away from the bad. I want to make it good, fix it. I do not believe in running away to a place that's better. I want to make this place I live in better. I could move, and it'd be easy. Not much of a problem at all for me. But that would be totally against the cause. Please guide me as to what I should do and how I should go about doing it. I am sorry if my concern seems petty, which it might be, but it is nonetheless, a genuine concern.

Thank you for your time and effort,
Abdullah Usman Khan.



Learning

 25 Replies

Suchitra. S (Advocate)     26 June 2010

I understand from your post that your neighbours have given a police complaint. You  have not stated what are the allegations made in the complaint. It is not a crime for friends to visit your place. But the neighbours are also entitled to have a decent surrounding. I really do not know what the real picture is. But if you people are creating any nuisance, they are going to complain about it. And you are answerable to them. 

Abdullah Usman Khan (Student)     26 June 2010

No. They haven't done that. Well, not really. They threatened to call the police, and so I said I would myself and called them. When they came, my neighbours just verbally told the police they'd been telling me. I agree, totally, that the neighbours are absolutely entitiled to decent surroundings. And I respect that the most. But then, all they do, is take undue advantage of me being one, and they being many. I do not roam around on the streets being a nuisance of any sort at all. The only problem they have as they have said time and time again, is a female entering my house, or being at my house, during the night. I mean, this is ridiculous. I never even make any noise or talk loudly or anything at all that might even disturb them.

So basically, what they said to the police was, that this boy, "gets girls at night"! And that is messed up. They claim, since they are so very non ignorant and intelligent and all knowing, that any girl coming by herself, or with another guy, or being at my place, at 3 in the morning, is a prostitute or some sort. To quote, translated into English, " What kind of an innocent girl will visit a friend at 3 in the morning?!"

I hope you get the picture clearer now. Please do answer.

G. ARAVINTHAN (Legal Consultant / Solicitor)     26 June 2010

What are the allegations made against you in the complaint they preferred before police?

what your parents say?

Suchitra. S (Advocate)     26 June 2010

Sir, I can understand from your explanation that you feel nothing wrong if a girl visits your home even at odd hours. But please understand from their view point. They must be thinking that there is some immoral things happening at your place and so, they have been asking to restrain from having a girl in your home. All they can do is to call the police. And you say, you have called them by yourself. It is up to you to make the things clear to police that there is nothing illegal or immoral happening in your place. If it is done, then your neighbours cannot do anything against you. 

Other than that, speaking legally, if you are not doing anything illegal, that girl has every freedom and right to stay wherever she wishes to, if she is a major and person of sound mind.

Abdullah Usman Khan (Student)     26 June 2010

To Suchitra.

Yes, I understand totally! But that is what, "They must be thinking", yes, they most definitely are thinking so, and there is no doubt about it. They are entitiled to their opinion. Their "idea" their "notion" of what's happening. But then, that is all it is, their idea, what they think. Just because a hundred people "think so" doesn't mean that it "is so" does it? No, most definitely not. And that is what. The mentality here, people coming up to me and saying things like, "Leave it, just agree it wont happen again..." WHAT wont happen again? Nothing wrong happens so what right do they have to agree to such a thing?! The police, said the same things. That the people have a problem with it, so I shouldn't do it. I mean, this is retarded. Just them having a problem is reason enough! All by itself. Whether the problem is warranted or justified, is something totally irrelevant to them! Now when the police too act in such an ignorant fashion, which I have come to realise is more than expected of them, what am I supposed to do?

 

To Aravinthan

The allegations made against me before the police arrived are the same made against me after they arrived. They had a problem with me, and what they said was, that this boy, get's girls to his place at night. By which, they mean, that the girls visiting me are prostitutes, or basically, solely for s*x. They do not have any clarity in what they say. All they have, is volume. And curses. All they do is scream and shout, because to them, that compensates for the lack of intellect. Anyway, so they claim that they would not have any girl come to my place. This was at first. When it happened a few months ago. THEN, after I stayed put saying that I was doing nothing wrong and wouldn't agree to such a thing, they changed it saying, that I could have girls visit, but only during the day. Why? Prostitutes during the day is fine? No, their super explanation is, that a girl coming over at night, or late at night, is and definitely HAS to be of bad nature. And that a girl coming during the day, will be a good girl. These notions truly depress me thinking this is thinking and ignorance of the people I share this world with. So then, I shouldn't have girls visit at night or stay over or anything of that sort. My parents are totally aware that my friends, be it male or female, visit and stay over. What do I do? I feel truly helpless.

Suchitra. S (Advocate)     26 June 2010

Khan Sir, recently we had one famous case of Swami Nityananda. Hope you are aware of it. It is just similar to your case with slight difference. People had problem with the Swamy for having physical relationship with women who came to his Ashram. The Swamy was acquitted as there was no complaint filed by any aggrieved party. !! How can police file a case against you when there is no specified allegation under law ?Fundamental Rights of citizens are protected in our country. Do not worry. At the most, the owner may ask you to vacate being influenced b your neighbourhood.

Hemant Agarwal (ha21@rediffmail.com Mumbai : 9820174108)     26 June 2010

Originally posted by :Abdullah Usman Khan
"
I came from Saudi Arabia in 2005 to study here. I saw the place. And I love this place, it's my country. Abdullah Usman Khan.
"

 

Well,  IF in  "Saudi Arabia",  your neighbours and your govt. allows over-night stay of   "different" non-relative Female friends, in your house in Saudi Arabia,  THEN logically that should be allowed in India as well.
 

 
Further, if you hail from "Saudi Arabia",  and are a non-citizen of India,  THEN you are a  "guest"  in India and by no means you can claim that  India is your country.  A "guest" is entitled to live in a "host's"  house subject to the moral and social code & culture prevailing in the "host's" house.

 
 
As it is India has a long-long history of foreigners coming to India as "guests"  and taking over and usurping over the title of India and further imposing their own codes & cultures over Indians.

 
 
SUGGESTION  :
Try to do the same thing  (unknown different females staying over-night at your house)  in Saudi Arabia  AND if your neighbours and govt. allows all this things unabated,  THEN let's us all know about it,  EVEN IF ALL THIS THINGS ARE ALLOWED EVEN IN THE AFTER-NOON'S".

 
 
Keep Smiling .... Hemant Agarwal
 
2 Like

Abdullah Usman Khan (Student)     26 June 2010

Well, Hemant. You sound very clearly that you have no interest in helping anyone out. I am Indian. I am not retarded to call India my country if I weren't. I've lived in Saudi Arabia before I moved here. Prior to that, I've been in India itself. I was born here, grew up here, and then moved. Got it? And you are really ignorant to tell me to compare the behaviour and attitude of neighbours in Saudi Arabia. Suppose I come from Afghanistan. There, I couldn't even talk to a woman who isn't either my sister, wife, mother, aunt, grandmother, or daughter. So that makes sense here? Please dont comment if you have no useful information to give. Regardless. If the allow me to have s*x on the street in Saudi Arabia, it should be allowed here?! No. It ISN'T dependent on what another country just allows or doesn't. And afternoon is one word.

I gave you the information just for some background.

Relevant information and all you need.

I am an INDIAN CITIZEN by BIRTH.

I am a major.

My friends visiting are all majors.

We have the right to come and go as we please without causing a disturbance.

But still, even apart from us being majors, our parents are aware of our visits.

 

I hope that clears it all for you? Because you sounded very hostile sadly.

Abdullah Usman Khan (Student)     26 June 2010

And Suchitra, I'm not even in any s*xual relationship with the girls that visit! They're all friends. And it's all the same even if I did have any such relations. It's my wish, it's consentual, and we're above 18. That's all! But then, they claim I that their visit's purpose is "of course" s*x, because they're here at night or are staying over! Amazing, isn't it? But yes, he will at most evict me, but that is what, why should he? He has no right to do so. I do not want to move. This is exploitation. Some form or the other, but it is.

Abdullah Usman Khan (Student)     27 June 2010

Well, I guess no one really wants to help. All they want to do is increase their scores on their 'scorecards'. Good. Thank you nonetheless.

Hemant Agarwal (ha21@rediffmail.com Mumbai : 9820174108)     28 June 2010

Originally posted by :Abdullah Usman Khan
"

I am a student who has been living in my flat on rent for 5 years now.

My parents know my friends visit and stay over. The hour does not matter at all.
 

"you have no interest in helping anyone out" .... Abdullah Usman Khan.

 

 

 

"

 

Mr. Khan,

 

You are absolutely right that I am never interested in "helping" anyone and neither I intend to ever in future.  The Lord Almighty says that  "Help those, who help themselves". 

 

 

YOU could try to ask your parents to Stay in your rented house for a month or so AND THEN let all your different Girl-Friends and Boy-Friends come over at 3 in the morning OR overnight stay  OR week-end stay  or whatever,   AND then see IF they are amicable to your friends visiting you at all odd house.    Forget the neighbourhood or the police.  LETs ALL know  what your parents say to your above activities.

 

 

Okay .... Here is some useful information :
1.  Having  S E X, without condoms, may help in contracting AIDS.
2.  Having  S E X  without condoms with  multiple partners may also help in contracting AIDS.
3.  Live-in Relations have been legalised by a Supreme Court judgement,  which says that  "live-in relations"  is not an offence. 
YOU may show this SC judgement to your society neighbours, the police and others.


 

WRIGGLING :
Sometimes you say that  "I came from Saudi Arabia"
Now you say that "I'm Indian by birth"

 

 

FURTHER :
You are looking for solutions,  which fits into your likings.  AND the law does work that way.  IF something is not according to your likings OR to your prejudiced mind, it is obivious that it would seem "Hostile" to you.

 

Personally, I would not wish you to  "keep smiling",  If I wanted to be hostile towards you.

 

Keep Smiling .... Hemant Agarwal
 

 

Abdullah Usman Khan (Student)     29 June 2010

Aw..that is so sweet of you! You said keep smiling! Can I send you roses or something? You are truly brainless. Sad. No illiterate, no, not at all, ignorant. The difference is, an illiterate person knows and says that he knows not much, whereas an ignorant person says just the opposite!

 

Simple things can't add up in your little head?

 

I can't be Indian, then go somewhere, and take a plane back to India? Every person landing on Indian soil from some International flight is an Alien?! Retarded.

 

And no, why would I look for a solution that fits my likings? No definitely not, who does that? You for example wouldn't ever want to take a job that pays you ten times of another job. Because that would be fitting your likings. So you'll choose the lower paying job. Move to a bad part of town. Choose education from a run down college bad at academics? Are you plain stupid?! OF COURSE I am looking for a solution that fits my liking! And, HOSTILE, because, read carefully and slowly so you may have a change of understanding, " THEY ARE AGAINST WHAT THE LAW CLEARLY AND EXPLICITLY ALLOWS ME TO DO". I don't know, perhaps you have disregard for this country's law. I don't. I respect the Judicial system, and I believe it to be one of the pillars of being a civilized society. But you don't very clearly.

G. ARAVINTHAN (Legal Consultant / Solicitor)     29 June 2010

"OF COURSE I am looking for a solution that fits my liking"

-------- your words clearly says your attitude. All your liking wont give solution. It is not law only for you, that is for all.

You are speaking about civilized society but you not intending to be a part of that civilized society

In my view, you are not respecting anything which is true and at the same time against your liking.
 

My heart says " Better you go away, dont come back

G. ARAVINTHAN (Legal Consultant / Solicitor)     29 June 2010

Your attitude is a known well as you stating an expert of this site as stupid, who came to answer your query. 

If at all your query is answered, you go out of our club.


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