what should i do?

Thank you very much Mr. Harsh Sir.

May i know, is it necessary to show any proof regarding 'Husband not responding'  while applying for maintainance u/s 125 crpc?

Actually my final intention is not maintainance. But i want to open my husband's eyes. And want to move him and come forward. And want to make him wronge that he thinks 'i can't do anything'

And also want to teach lesson to my husband & in-laws.

God only knows how it will work out.

Thank You.

After reading all written in the thread I can suggest you one thing.

1. First what is the real issue with your husband and shy is he trying to avoid it ? Simply no one will do like that. Kuch pane ke liye kuch khona parta hain.Try to understand your husband.Else there will be no chance. 

2. For you the most imp thing is ur husband and not your parents now. They will come second.

3. Involve the elders in this mediation.

4.  My wife is divorcing me I can feel the pain of divorce and understand her.We humans tend to understand things at the last moment till the time when everything is hell.

5. Request don't file any false DV/498a case.I ruins life.

6. Also I have seen now a days girls want only husband and not the in-laws which I feel is not good.But the husband has to take the wife and the in-laws as well.I feel staying joint is happy and good.   

@ Priyadarshini .

You can file a maintenance case, and if you want you can also a file a complaint to the protection officer, stating all your problems, if you want to join back your husband then you can also take help from protection officer for mediation & counselling and that time you can put all your points .  M y known is going through same problem and she is taking help this way, and her case is exactly same . 

Females are supposed to make adjustments after marriage, but inlaws start giving orders, and start interfering , with do's & don'ts and humiliate then things become very suffocating, one should never forget that a girl comes to a new house leaving her whole world beside, so she should be given time , love care and respect, but unfortuantely wifes and bahu's are treated like free slaves or servants, and inlaws keep lot of expectations, their must be a balance.

Unfortuantely in india , things are not balanced, marrying a man means marrying his whole family, and people talk about joint family and all but they forget to maintain the same cordial relation with thr wife's parents, for men its just 1 person, wife but for women its whole family. And then we get easy answers " ladki ki humare ghar aati hai so she is bound to accept , change & adjust " So is it fair to expect all the adjustment from wife.   On petty and small fights , inlaws start calling the parents on their bahu's with long list of complaints, kaam nai karti, moody hai, uses laptops & internet, comes late from office, fir ghar aakar khana nai banati bla bla bla...and humiliate. Even females are humanbeings so they can have their own choice. Their must be some adjustment from inlaws n husband aswell, but that doesn't happen and thats the reason these days people prefer nuclear family's , less people less complications and that maintains peace & harmony in family aswell. 

Lot of women has agruement that "HUSBAND PARENTS ARE ALWAYS WRONG AND ALSO THEIR FAMILY". I just want to ask them if they want and I have seen that they force or willing to stay seperate with husbands then "CAN A WOMEN/WIFE CAN STAY AWAY FROM HER PARENTS AND FAMILY".

ARE THE WIFE FAMILY ALWAYS CORRECT AND HUSBANDS FAMILY ALWAYS WRONG.We must get out of this notion which is now old.

IF MEN AND WOMEN TEND TO SEE THEMSELVES EQUAL THEN LAWS OF INDIA MUST ALSO BE EQUAL FOR BOTH BUT ARE NOT. ALSO IF HUSBAND CAN STAY WITHOUT HIS FAMILY AND SEPERATE AFTER MARRIAGE FORCEFULLY/WILLINGLY THEN WIFE MUST ALSO DO THE SAME AND MUST NOT BE IN TOUCH WITH HER PARENTS.

WE TALK ABOUT EQUALITY BUT DO WE REALLY DO IT ? NOW A DAYS I SEE MEN MORE SACRIFICING THEN WOMEN.

Iam not saying to abuse inlaws and get seperated or cut the contacts, no certainly no. Respect should be their , and should also have a cordial relation but if marriage is suffering due to interference from inlaws etc then its good to shift at a seperate accomodation, but that doesn't mean that you cut off all the relations from your inlaws, its just maintaining peace and harmony, to avoid conflict. 

And women already leave their homes and come and adjust in a new family, so what more she can do, she already leaves her home , so why can't a husband do the same.  All of a sudden why husbands or ppl start saying that the girl is bad or she broke the house, its not about breaking house, its just maintaining some distance and privacy, think it in a positive way , in many cases husband and wife ki understanding bohot achii ho jaati hai, because they give eachother valuable time, koi interference nai hoti, partners remain calm and that helps marriages. When a female can leave her house where she have spent her whole childhood, her good n bad times, then why can't a male do the same ?????

And iam not biased, i respect men and their families, iam not saying its always men who are wrong or their families. But just imagine if you have to leave your own house and shift at your wife's place, will you adjust. you will like it ???? if your mother in law & father in law keeps an eye on you , that whether you smoke or not, you drink or not, y did you come home late, tum ye kayo nai khaate, aise kapde kyo nai pehente etc etc if your wife's parents ask such questions to you , how will you feel, just think honestly . You will think ki why these people are interfering in my life, or questioning me. You will get frustrate.  HUsbands toh apne inlaws ke ghar mushkil se ek ya max ek hafte ke liye jaate hai, after dat they see humari leaves khatam hogyi, but females ko toh apni poori life apne husband ke ghar nikaalni padti hai. So its not that easy , the way men think.  Lot of understanding is required. rather then filing divorce, its better to solve the problems.

Miss priyadarshini ,  what is your criteria, just to teach lesson to your husband or you want to get back to him ???? If you want to get back to him then do not file any false case , blaming bad things, because that will close all the options for reconciliation later. So think properly and then file a suitable case according to your needs. And if you are unsure whether your husband will take you back or not then ,file maintenance case, or you can also fole RCR, and protection officer can also help you.

All the best.....

There is a saying when it comes to self then people understand the pain. So as when we used to do something then my father used to say one day when you will become father u will understand my position.

The boy understand the pain of staying seperate when he becomes father. But in case of female it has been this and it is not only in India it is there across world. After marriage the girl has to be part of the boys family. Marriage is not just between two persons it is between two familes but now a days no one understand these.

If women think that theyare getting sepeated from family after her marriage then that kind of women must not marry and be with her parents whole life.No one forces anyone for marriage.

The girls marry because they can get security gaurd,financial stability,property,money.  

One more thing ..... if by default people think that inlaws inter fear then wife also do interfer husband and vice versa. 

That doesn't means ... that ... our privacy is getting disturbed. I have seen my uncles family.

I have four uncle and all marriage but they stay together.If you say so then it will not be possible anyways. It depends on the mentality of people.Still my grand mother is alive and everyone respects her and listens to her and also they are happy. The most important thing is willingness to stay together and be happy.   

https://www.lawyersclubindia.com/forum/Change-in-Indian-Civil-Society-29436.asp

https://saveindianfamily.org/articles/views/1048-marital-laws-family-breaking-or-money-making-industry.html

Pleas read these

https://www.lawyersclubindia.com/forum/MARRIAGE-IS-A-PANIC-AND-A-THREAT-TO-THE-WHOLE-OF-THE-FAMILY-30575.asp

NOW A DAYS MARRIED WOMENS ARE ''DAUGTHER IN LAW" ... MATLAB KANNNON KI BETI.

SO THIS MAKES THINGS MORE CLEAR. THEY HAVE 498A/ CRPC125/POWERFUL DV/CHILD CUSTODY/VAROUS MAINTAINANCE/DIVORCE.

SO WHY TO WORRY. GOD SAVE HUSBANDS.   

Priyadarshi .

1) Were you forced to leave your matrimonial house ?

2) what exactly triggered the situation ?

3) And now what is your motive ? Do you want to save your marriage & go back to your inlaws or you want to end this marriage by teaching a lesson to your husband ?

Please first clear this, then it will be more easy to suggest you.

If you had issues with your inlaws or you wanted to shift, if that is the situation then also express it.

Well thats a tradition that females have to go to their husband's house to live after marriage, but for that tradition you cannot force any women to stay with your family , if my wife has a problem or difficulty with my family members, then its my duty to understand and at the same time balance my family members also , without hurting anybody's sentiments. When iam marrying a girl, i take her whole responsibily, and iam the only one whom she will expect to stand by her. so a husband needs to understand that. Their must be certain understandings, one cannot force his wife to follow whatever he wishes saying thats tradition. Thats not tradition that is called male shovernist.  So madam priyadarshini kindly clear the situation. If its about petty issues then please try to resolve it through relatives and mediators, and if it doesn't help then take legal help.

The biggest problem i see is that "WOMEN CANNOT TAKE THEIR STAND OF OWN THEY ARE COMPLETELY DEPENDED ON PARENTS/FAMILY/HER WELL WISHERS  BUT MEN ON THE OTHER HAND ARE COMPLETELY INDEPENDENT AND CAN EASILY LEAVE PARENTS AND FAMILY AND WELL WISHERS AND CAN BECOME HEN PECKED OF WIFE"

"ALSO AS WOMENS ARE DEPENDENT ON HER PARENTAL HOME THEN HER ALL DECISION ARE DONE BY THEN EVEN AFTER MARRIAGE AND THAT HAMPERS SOMETIMES FAMILY AS IF PEOPLE THINK THAT MARRIAGE IS BETWEEN THE TWO PERSON THEN DECISION  MUST BE BETWEEN BOTH OF THEM WANT EVER IT IS"

"ALSO I FEEL IN A WAY TO BALANCE THE FAMILY AND WIFE AND HIS IN-LAWS MEN TEND TO DIVERT TOWARDS WIFE AND HER FAMILY AND THAT IS REALITY AND THIS LEADS TO THE KIDS ALSO HAVE LOT OF INFLUENCE WITH THE MOTHER FAMILY SIDE RATHER THAN FATHERS SIDE"

"I STILL STRONGLY FEEL THAT STAYING JOINT IS MUCH BETTER THAN ONLY HUSBAND AND WIFE STAYING BUT ULTIMATELY ITS THEIR DECISION.WITH JOINT FAMILY THE KIDS ALSO GET SUPPORT AND TEND TO LEARN MORE AND PEOPLE ARE MORE HAPPY AS YOU FIND MORE PEOPLE IN TIMES OF GOOD AND BAD"

ALSO WOMEN DOES WHAT HER MOTHER/FATHER AND HER WELL WISHER SAYS TO DO AND WOMEN CAN BE EASILY EMOTIONALLY BLACK MAILED BY THEM. SO SHE IS TOTALLY IN THEIR CONTROL AND HENCE HER FAMILY WITH HER HUSBAND IS ALSO DEPENDED ON THEIR MOVES.

I HAVE SEEN LOTS AND LOTS OF FAMILY FROM SOUTH TO NORTH INDIA.I HAVE SEEN SITUATIONS WHERE THE HUSBAND HAS TO TAKE PERMISSION OF HIS WIFE TO TALK TO HIS PARENTS.IMAGINE ONE DAY IF HE BECOMES FATHER OF A BOY AND THE BOY AFTER GROWN UP DOES THE SAME THEN HE CAN UNDERSTAND THE PAIN.THERE ARE LOTS AND LOTS OF EXAMPLE BUT IT WILL BE ENDLESS AND I CAN KEEP ON WRITING.

I HAVE SEEN HUSBANDS OBEYING HIS IN-LAWS LIKE GOD BUT WHEN IT COMES TO HIS PARENTS THEN HE IGNORES.THIS MIND SET IS BRAIN WASH BY THE WIFE AND THE IN-LAWS.THEY CAN MAKE YOU OPPOSE YOU OWN PARENTS.

ALSO WOMEN ON THE OTHER HAND WILL NEVER LEAVE THEIR FAMILY/WELL WISHER AND DANCE ON THEIR TUNES. THERE ARE MANY INSTANCE OF THESE WHICH HAS LEAD TO MARRIAGE BREAKDOWN.IF HUSBAND BECOME HENPECKED THEN OK OTHER WISE GOD HELPS.    

Thank you Mr. Harsh Sir.

To all above

1. My problem is same like whatever Khurana ji has written in my forum. My husband is not taking my side for a inch. He said to my dad “if she don’t want to live on my family member’s terms & conditions then don’t send her back.” He thinks that once girl marry with man she has to live like whatever her in-laws wants as bcaz of them she gets her husband. And my in-laws r layers as I said above. I came wid my dad on festival time. And my husband didn’t come to bring me back. My dad scared to send me there as my husband abusing me & saying whatever he want (which was wronge actually) My dad want to explain my husband ki ‘baba aise nahi hota.  You should balance ur family without hurting anyone.’ Once he understand these things then there will be no problem to sent me there. But my husband don’t want to meet anybody. We had done lots of efforts to explain him as I said above but it failed. Usne mumma & pappa ke pyar ki kali patti aankhon par bandhi hain. Aur muze o utarni hain. He thinks that one day will come when I will come back to him on his terms & conditions.

2. I don’t want leave my husband. I don’t want to break my sasural family. I want to go back wid my husband but he should understand me, he should take my side also, he should first understand the fact before reacting, he should respect me like I respect him, he should not abuse me, he should respect my parents like I respect his parents. Once he understand all these things. Then we will be a happy family.

3. Now I am going legally bcaz I don’t have any other options. All other options r already failed. Through legal procedure may he come forward to bring me back, to talk to me or to make the compro etc. etc. (whatever it may be) At least he will move. (That’s what I want). I promise u all, I will never file any false cases on my husband as I still love him. ( Don’t know what is in his mind)

Thank you all.