Dear all,
I belong to an educated middle class family. Iam myself well educated and well employed. I got married in Feb 2010. We stayed in a joint family with my parents and my brother and his wife. It was a no demand and an arranged marriage. Within one month of marriage, my wife started complaining about my parent. I used to calm her. I tried my best to keep her happy and to fulfill all her demands lovingly. I have been a sincere faithful husband. I even taught her during her exams and most house hold chores were done by servants in the house and rest by my mother and there were no restrictions what so ever. She would pick up fights with me on silly things, speak rudely and threaten me that she would leave my house. Most fights were picked up during odd hours of night. This frequently led to all other family members getting disturbed. She often used to suggest me to that we should shift to a separate house/ hostel. But due to my uncertainties regarding future course of employment I tried to pacify her. She has always been irresponsible and was always hooked to her phone talking to her mother. Both her parents are employed and belong to middle class.
6 months after marriage, one fine day she picked up a fight with me and left my house. Next day she asked for pardon but was unwilling to come back to my house and also claimed wrongly that everyone has thrown her out but the true facts were just the reverse. She came back after 1 month only when I told her that I would like to pursue for divorce if she doesn’t wish to stay with me. I tried to forgive her and forget the past.
She conceived immediately after coming back. I took lot of care during her pregnancy. We had a baby boy weighing 3.5kgs. But after the baby was 8 months old, she left me after picking up a silly fight with me and went to the nearby police station and along with her parents wrote a false written complaint against my entire family stating that we throw her out frequently, she has restrictions in eating, studying etc., and everybody including her husband verbally abuses her (but no dowry demand was complained of) and that she is willfully going to her parents house with her baby. The complaint was neither registered nor diarized. Now it has been more than an year since she left me. There have been no phone calls from her side. I have tried sending her requests to join me back through registered posts (thanks to advice on your forum). I have tried to send my baby gifts but all have been rejected. I went along with my elder relatives to call her back but her parents didn’t allow me to enter their house and meet my wife and my baby and spoke rudely to me.
Since my stipulated tenure of job had finished and I could not get a job at my native place, I found a job in the nearby town and now I am staying alone. I informed this to my wife through written registered posts and speed posts, which were rejected by them repeatedly. I wish to have my wife and kid back but not forcibly (Also I feel RCR would lead to retaliation) and I do not wish to give in to her demands of making myself her exclusive commodity (read as henpecked husband).
Please let me know how I should proceed further. Is my leaving my native place for an employment constitutes desertion? How can I make my case strong if I plan to directly file for divorce after 2 years of her desertion? Do her claims about verbal abuses, throwing her out of the house and restrictions in eating, studying constitute a reasonable/ valid cause for her deserting me? Also please advice how I can meet my child during this period?
